


Nightmares

by lkionus



Series: The Jedi and the Nightsister [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 03:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21500896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lkionus/pseuds/lkionus
Summary: Cal wakes up while Merrin has a bad dream.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Nightsister Merrin
Series: The Jedi and the Nightsister [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549762
Comments: 3
Kudos: 115





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea last night when i went to bed, so I decided to quickly write this.
> 
> english is not my first language so please excuse strange or false grammar/spelling  
> not beta read

_Late evening on the Mantis_

"DAMNIT" Merrin shouted from outside Cal's room.

He opened his door and saw Merrin banging her fist against her door.

"The door is stuck." she said when she saw Cal.

Cal looked at the non responding keypad on the door. "We can look at it tomorrow, now its too late. You can sleep with me. I mean not like... I didn't mean you... I mean you can sleep in my bed." Cal's face had taken a bright red shade while he was rambeling. 

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't, its ok, you're my girlfriend."

"Ok" Merrin smiled.

Cal woke up in the middle of the night. Merrin was turning herself in her sleep and muttering words he couldn't understand. It was obvious she had a nightmare. Cal hesitated a moment, than touched Merrin's shoulder.

"Merrin?"

With a scream Merrin woke up, sitting straight in bed.

"Merrin. Merrin its ok, its me Cal." 

Slowly her breathing returnd back to normal and she became calm.

"Sorry. I didn't want you to witness that."

"It's ok. Bad dreams?" Cal asked.

Merrin nodded "Every night."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Merrin said and lay back down. 

"You know," Cal startet, "after the Purge, after my master was killed, every time I closed my eyes I would see his corpse. Every night I would wake screaming. The guilt, the pain it was too much. At some point it blocked my conection to the force. After that my nightmares stopped, but they returned even stronger when I embraced the force again, when I set out to be a Jedi again. But I found a way to deal with it, to make the nightmares stop!"

"How?"

"I talked to Cere about my dreams. I talked about what happened, about what I felt, about everything. And although the guilt and pain are still there, and are probably never going to leave, the nightmares stoped. Mostly. If you ever want to talk about it... I'm here for you."  
Merrin said nothing, just shifted a bit to lay more comfortably. Cal sighed and closed his eyes.   
He had almost slipped back to sleep when Merrin suddenly spoke up, her back still to Cal. "I was still a child when they attacked. An army lead by a monster, a giant warrior in dark armor, swinging two sabers at my sisters. He just cut right through them. I was afraid and ran. I ran as far and as fast as I could, and when I couldn't run anymore I hid. I stayed in hiding for a day and a half, and it took me the rest of the day to get back to my home. All I found was the corpses of my sisters." She turned to face Cal, "I know I couldn't have safed them if I stayed. I just would have died too, but..." a single tear ran down her face.  
Cal understood. "But you still blame yourself for running. You are angry at yourself and you're asking why did you survive when all your sisters, who were so much better than you died, why do you get to live. I felt the same. My master was a great and mighty Jedi, but he gave his life to protect me. It still weighs on me, it will allways weigh on me, but I decided that I will use this last gift of him, to live a meaningfull life."

"Sounds so easy when you say it."

"I know, but it isn't. It's never easy. But its important."

"When did you get so wise?" Merrin smiled.

Cal shrugged, "I read a lot, back when I was in the temple."

"I love you Cal."

"I love you too." Cal leaned forward and kissed her. 

Merrin closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. He protectivly put an arm around her and shortly after they both slipped back into an undisturbed sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3 I hope you liked it


End file.
